My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
