So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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