just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
