I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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