Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
