i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize