I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
