Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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