your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
