I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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