she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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