$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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