drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
