singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize