well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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