HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
