People with herpes should wear stickers.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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