I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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