So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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