You can't motorboat a personality
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I touched a dick in church today
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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