I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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