Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
