I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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