Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this boner is exhausting
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
