So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize