i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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