So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
