i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
