I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
