New low: just hacked my moms facebook
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
