Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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