i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
