God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
