Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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