everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize