I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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