hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
