Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
