so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.