I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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