How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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