Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
