Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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