Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
