So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Randomize
