Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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