You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
