Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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