When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize