Just fell off a train. Bad.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
