Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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