He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
