she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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