O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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