walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
