my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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