so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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