i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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