Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
