Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize